Let's Talk About Tips Baby...

Is this little guy really necessary?

We all know that tipping culture has gone crazy over the last few years, leaving couples often wondering who to tip, who doesn't need one, and how much should you expect to tip. The opinions are all over the place, so we decided to share our insider knowledge and weigh in. After all, we've seen it all at this point.

First off, let's get one thing straight, you are under ZERO obligation to tip any of your wedding vendors that don't communicate that expectation upfront!

All of your vendors were secured through a mutually agreed upon contract. Your financial "obligation" to them stops there. Any vendor that needs to be tipped, will typically add this into their bill/invoice upfront. Including a tip or service charge into your initial proposal, in which the contract was signed upon, is best practice. Let's be clear....any vendor coming to you after-the-fact and asking for a tip, is simply crossing the line.

So who should you expect to possibly tip or see a gratuity included on a contract? Well, the most agreed upon approach is you don't need to tip the owner of the business, but you should always tip any employee of that business, that went above and beyond for you. We believe tipping should always be reserved for those that truly exceeded expectations. Just because you showed up and performed the service you were hired to do, shouldn't mean you automatically get a tip.

Let's get into it and talk about tips baby! Here are the top 3 vendors we believe you should be prepared to tip, along with a couple of bonus "tips" for you. (See what we did there??)

1. Catering & Bartenders (Typically included upfront...but be aware!)

Catering: Gratuity is often included, but not always. Prior to Covid, you'd see a line on the invoice that would say "Service Charge", and that was usually the tip; however, now that fee is more of an administrative fee. Caterers will say that the "Service Charge" covers things like general staffing offset, wear and tear on vehicles, kitchen equipment, etc. Our question is...why isn't that just built into the cost of the food? Why does it need to be broken out? Regardless, if you aren't sure, simply ask your caterer if the gratuity is already factored into the overall invoice or is it expected. And ask for clarification on the "Service Charge". This fee is typically 20%-28% of the total invoice, so let's be sure we know what this is covering. Great caterers will either include a gratuity upfront or tell you that it's not necessary because they already pay their people a livable wage. These are seasoned professionals that know how to properly pay their staff to handle your event with perfect care and attention.

Bartenders/Bartending Companies: This is a bit of a sticky wicket...and a fairly large extra expense to prepare for. Most bartending companies, that are external of the catering company, will require a 20% tip or require the client to allow their bartenders to put a tip jar out during the event. Assuming the bartending invoice is $5,000, you're looking at an additional $1,000 in tip. Yikes!!! You see how that can add up and hit your budget quick.

If you are hosting an open bar, and have ensured the tip is included, then we recommend NOT placing a tip jar within the guests view. Popular opinion is that placing a tip jar out at a bar of a hosted event is in a word...tacky. If a guest wants to tip, they will tip regardless of whether or not a "jar" is out. If gratuity wasn't already included then allowing a tip jar to be placed out at the bar is your choice. Often times allowing a tip jar can save you big but it can also make your guests feel guilty if they don't tip....so again, it's your preference based on the information you are presented with, contractual obligations and ultimately, your budget.

2. Hair & Make-Up Artists (Typically included upfront but trending toward optional.)

This is another service bucket where you will often see tips included upfront. Depending on the state/region, gratuity can range from 15%-20% just like a regular personal service you would get for yourself. We are starting to see more and more HAMU companies leaving the gratuity off the invoice and making it optional, and we love that feature!

3. End of the Night Drivers or Transportation (Professional = Included; Uber/Lyft = Plan to Tip!)

If you've pre-scheduled this service with a professional transportation company, nine times out of ten, the gratuity is already included, and we love that approach! If you opt for a less expensive option like an Uber, Lyft or Taxi (yes, taxies still exist) then you should indeed expect to tip. How much should be based on efficiency, friendliness, ease of use, etc.

4. Bonus Tip #1: Vendors that Collect Tips & Don't Share with the Intended Recipients

We've heard horror stories about vendors that collect gratuity (bartending companies being the biggest offenders) and never share them with the intended staff; therefore, the staff prefers to put out a tip jar and collect onsite. We call this behavior unethical. Unethical on the part of the business owner for not properly sharing the gratuity collected at the beginning of the invoice, and for making their staff feel like they have no other choice but to ask for tips to ensure they are appropriately compensated for services rendered. While it can be hard to find a job these days, service providers in the event industry are always looking for great help...so go find somewhere else to work. As a bartender or server, you deserve to be treated better, paid fairly, and compensated appropriately for your work...especially exceptional work! If your current employer isn't sharing collected gratuities, find an employer that will. We know lots of ethical vendors and those are the ones we partner with first. When you Plan It With Me, you can rest assured you are in ethical hands with us, and the vendors we choose to work with.

5. Bonus Tip #2: If you do want to tip, how much should you really consider?

Let's make this easy...how much is completely up to you. Repeat after me..."How much I tip is completely up to me!" Did you say it? Okay, good. Say it again and again until it's burned in your brain.

When we see recommendations like $50-$100 per band member, $500 for your planner, $100 for your DJ, $50-$100 (or a gift) for you cake baker, florist, photographer, videographer, etc., we roll our eyes. We truly have no idea where these numbers came from because they are completely arbitrary.

Tips should be based on exceptional work, or someone that goes above and beyond your expectations. Not simply because you hired them and so you feel obligated or shamed into doing it.

6. Bonus Tip #3: You want to tip but really don't have a large budget allocated to do so comfortably, and you truly believe someone deserves a tip.

This is my favorite question. Write a stellar 5-star review. You have NO idea what a great review can do for a business, let alone a "small" business. Your voice means everything to new clients, couples, customers, and we want to hear what you have to say. A great review can generate business for years to come...long after the "tip" is gone, so if you really want to share how much you love a vendor, or a specific staff person, shout it out loud online for all to hear. And if you still want to tip something, a small gesture goes a long way. A $10 Starbucks card, $5 at Sonic will get you 2 happy hour drinks, at 30-minute shoulder massage, the list is endless to express your appreciation. Tips do not have to be expenseive, they just need to be well thought out. And at the end of the day, we'll take a strong hug, a few sweet words, and that 5-star review we mentioned earlier. Ohhhh, how that's the stuff that makes our hearts sing!

Now while we can keep going and talk about the point/counterpoint of this topic, you'd be here all day and we know you have things to do, and we've got your event to work on. At the end of the day, we hope this helped provide some clarity and insight into what responsible, ethical and honest business owners and vendors expect. If you don't believe us, click the image below to view our video about this topic on TikTok. The comment section alone proves the majority of us are on the same page.

Final thought: There are a ton of articles/blogs/posts about who to tip and how much...and we've gone down that rabbit hole too. But at the end of the day, we believe tipping should be reserved for exceptional serivce that WOW'd you. Tipping when you choose, makes it way more fun and intentional rather than obligatory for the giver, and more appreciated from the recipient.

Click below to watch the video referenced above!

Kathy Bull, Owner and Lead Planner was a server for 12 years, managed a restaurant and bartended for 3 years, began working in the event industry with corporate and non-profit events from 2002-2008, and started Plan It With Me from scratch in 2009. Sixteen years later, she's seen it all and loves sharing insight to break the common misconceptions of what "society" tells us is "expected" in today's wedding world. You've got a lot to navigate and your team at Plan It With Me will walk by your side, hand-in-hand, throughout the entire process.

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