Things We See That You Don't
Hidden vendor red flags. Why they matter and what you need to know!
You found the florist. You booked the venue.
You hired the photographer. The cake is ordered.
Hair and makeup is scheduled. The DJ has the playlist.
So…you’re done, right? Well, not exactly.
Because there are things that happen behind the scenes that you may never know about—and frankly, that’s one of the reasons having a wedding planner is so valuable.
We see the vendor who is difficult to work with. We see the vendor who doesn’t read the timeline. We see the vendor who quietly cuts corners. We see the vendor who charges you for things that feel a little…creative. And sometimes, we see the problem before you ever know there was one.
Our job isn't just to make your wedding look pretty. It’s to know what questions to ask, what red flags to watch for, and which vendors will actually take care of you when it matters.
Because when you’re planning your wedding yourself, you may not know what you don’t know.
So let’s lift the veil on some of the standard industry pros:
🌸 THE FLORIST
A great florist should do more than take your Pinterest board and send you a price. They should look at your space, understand your budget and help you figure out where your floral dollars will have the most impact. For example, if your reception room has 20-foot ceilings and your florist proposes nothing but short centerpieces, we have questions.
There needs to be movement and visual balance in a large space. Sometimes that means varying centerpiece heights, adding elevated arrangements, incorporating candles or bringing the eye upward in other ways.
And then there’s the other kind of florist—the elitist one who thinks they are above it all the same rules don’t apply to them. These are the worst and extremely frustrating.
We once encountered a situation where this well-known Dallas florist bypassed us as the planning team and called the mother of the bride directly on the wedding day to complain about how terrible the setup looked. The irony? The setup was exactly what the mother of the bride had requested—even after we advised against what she wanted on three separate occasions. We came to common ground with her and ultimately gave her what she wanted…it just wasn’t what the florist wanted.
Even though everything had been properly communicated to his team weeks in advance of the wedding, he was the one to arrive for set-up and hadn’t properly prepared by reading any of the notes or follow any of the plans that had been finalized. That's not professional collaboration. That's creating unnecessary panic on someone's wedding day.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
When hiring a florist, ask how they approach design challenges, how they work with planners and what they do when they disagree with a client's design choice. You want a creative partner, not someone who simply executes a proposal—or creates drama.
🏛️ THE VENUE
Ah, the hidden venue fees. One of our favorite little wedding surprises. Except…not really.
While they aren't typically maliciously hidden fees, they do tend to get buried in the legal mumbo jumbo, so you've got to pay attention. Read the contract. Highlight your concerns, and yes, we mean old-school highlighter style. Then read it again and start asking questions.
Look for:
Additional-hour charges
Overtime penalties
Setup and breakdown restrictions
Rules surrounding deposits and cancellations
Requirements for planner or staffing hours
Fees that kick in when your event runs over—even by a few minutes
Or the fee that comes from other vendors because the venue is "difficult to access." Yep, that's a real thing too!
When thinking about running over your contracted time, we're not talking about staying 30+ minutes over so your vendors can get out. We're talking about situations where a couple goes 12 minutes over and suddenly they're being charged a significant overtime fee because someone was waiting for the opportunity to hit the clock.
And here's another one we see, requiring a planner to be onsite for the entire time when you're only doing hair and makeup. That's a double-whammy. You're paying the venue for additional access time and paying your planner to sit there while nothing is actually happening that requires their services.
A venue should have policies, absolutely! But there is a difference between having reasonable policies and looking for every possible opportunity to turn your wedding into an invoice.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Before signing your venue contract, ask: “What could potentially cost me more money after I sign this contract?” Then ask for those fees to be clearly identified. And don't accept “nothing” as the answer without digging deeper.
🎂 THE BAKER
Cake should be pretty, taste good, and arrived thawed, not frozen.
We don’t think that’s a lot to ask…do you?
Not only have we seen cakes arrive fully frozen, we've seen bakers refuse to follow instructions about where the cake should be placed. We've seen them refuse to add flowers even when floral placement was part of the agreed design.
And then there's the cake that has been frozen so long that you are left wondering “when did they even make this thing”. You know the one. It looks beautiful. You take a bite. And suddenly you're chewing on what tastes like a dry sponge with a vague memory of vanilla.
Your wedding cake shouldn't just be Instagram-worthy.
It should be something your guests actually want to eat.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Ask how far in advance cakes are baked, how they're stored, how they're transported, who handles setup and exactly what is included in the delivery and design fee. And if flowers are going on the cake, make sure everyone agrees on who is placing them and where before wedding day.
*Bonus tip: A faux cake and a sheet cake can be a great cost saving way to go!
💄 HAIR & MAKEUP (HAMU)
HAMU vendors can make a wedding morning amazing or make everyone want to pull their hair out.
Pun absolutely intended!
First and foremost, if you aren't planning to do a trial because you want to save money, know that's a mistake right off the bat. You don't want to wait for wedding day to figure out whether or not you like what they do.
Now that you are prepared to add that cost to the bill, you’ll also need to look for vendors who:
Charge a separate fee just to provide a Certificate of Insurance (COI)
Don't actually carry the insurance they're requiring you to pay for. NOTE: As a “cost of doing business” all reputable businesses must carry liability insurance. Most venues will ask for any vendor onsite to provide a COI to ensure all are covered in case of damage or emergency. When a vendor can’t provide this or they charge it back to the customer, that’s a huge red flag.
Charge excessive travel fees regardless of distance
Don't take constructive feedback from your trial seriously
Treat your trial like a final decision rather than a conversation
Insurance is part of doing business. Traveling to and from the vendor’s office to your venue should be built in to the overall price unless you are traveling an extended distance outside your service area, and your trial is there for a reason.
If you say, “I don't love this part of the hairstyle,” or “This makeup isn't quite what I envisioned,” the appropriate response isn't defensiveness, it should be, “Let's figure out what you do love and work together from there.”
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Get the full pricing structure before signing. Ask about trials, travel, insurance, COIs and exactly what happens if you aren't happy with the result. And if you're being charged any fee for a COI, ask why that isn’t a standard of them doing business. Your vendors should already be carrying appropriate business insurance as part of operating a professional business. If they are not, or they try to back-charge you for it, walk away.
👰 THE BRIDAL SHOP
This is where you need to advocate for yourself. It is not uncommon for a bride to be told to order a dress 2-3x larger than her normal size. Sizing varies by designer, and bridal sizing is famously different from street clothing. So yes, you will likely need to order a minimum of two sizes up.
The problem we are running into more commonly is when brides are told to order as much as 6x larger than needed just so the shop can pitch and position their own in-house alteration services. Which can easily cost the same amount as the gown itself.
If you experience this, you should know that is another huge red flag. If you find yourself in this situation ask questions…a lot of question.
Also be advised you are likely going to be asked for a tip. Our policy on tipping is that tips are reserved for service above and beyond what the customer expects, not just because the bridal attendant showed up to work that day. We aren’t against tipping but we are against expected tips without the service to warrant a tip.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
If you're being told you need a dramatically different size, ask the consultant to explain why. Get the designer's actual measurement chart. Ask what alterations are anticipated and what they will cost. You are allowed to get a second opinion or go to an outside seamstress if you feel like you are being taken advantage of.
Take a strong advocate with you if you want to avoid conflict. It’s always good to have someone there to back you up.
🪩 DECOR
We've all heard the phrase: “But I got such a good deal!” And sometimes you did. And sometimes you got exactly what you paid for.
We've seen bar facades and stage facades arrive scratched, dinged, beaten up and looking like they've been to hell and back. Recently we had this issue and when we asked about a better version, the response was—quite literally—“Well…that's what you ordered.”
No. That's what we received. There's a difference.
A good vendor should have a quality-control process. If you're renting something specifically because it is supposed to elevate the look of your wedding, it should arrive in a condition that supports that goal.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
If you're getting an amazing deal on decor, ask why. Is it discounted because they're trying to fill a date? Great. Or is it because you're receiving pieces that have been used beyond their useful life?
Ask to see actual photos of the rental pieces or to see the pieces in person. Find out what happens if the item arrives damaged or in a lesser condition that expected.
🍽️ THE CATERER
This one is especially important because catering isn't just about food, it’s about service.
We've seen caterers arrive with dirty plates and chargers that we, as the planner, quietly had to clean before guests arrived. We've seen caterers show up without proper quantities of linens when that was part of their contracted service.We've seen caterers intentionally undercut competing quotes just to win the business—only for the couple to discover later that important services or details weren't included. And we've seen caterers stop properly bussing the space during the reception because they were ready to go home.
Sorry, but your guests aren't done eating and drinking just because the caterer is done working. Your catering team should be watching the room, keeping tables clean, replenishing food and beverages and helping maintain the overall guest experience.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Don't just compare the bottom-line number. Compare the scope of work. Ask: “Who is responsible for bussing? What does staffing include? What linens are included? What happens at the end of the night?”
The cheapest proposal isn't always the best value.
🕺 THE DANCE FLOOR
A dance floor can seem like a tiny detail but it quite literally will pull the design of your entire space together. When picking a dance floor, pick a design that speaks to you and pay attention to little details like scuffs, scratches and beat-up edges. And what type of trim out does the floor have? We like a consistent in color and texture beveled edge. But what about those with the galvanized silver or gold trim.
We're gonna say it...it looks awful! Unless you have silver or gold galvanized details throughout the rest of the dance floor design, just stay away from those pieces as trim work.
Here's where you should pay more to get the right look and design. The dance floor is a large visual element in your reception, so don't forget to look at the actual product you're renting—not just the beautifully edited photo on the website.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Ask what condition the floor is in, what the edging looks like and whether the product you're seeing online is the exact product you'll receive.
Keep in mind that if you consider the dance floor an important part of your overall design, don't make the decision based solely on price. This is absolutely a time when the upgrade is worth it.
📸 THE PHOTOGRAPHER
Your photographer has an artistic vision, and that’s a good thing, but your wedding isn't their portfolio shoot.
We've seen photographers minimize a couple's shot list because they want to capture the photos they want.
There is absolutely room for creative freedom. In fact, you hired your photographer because you love their work.
For example, if you've specifically allocated 20 minutes for post-ceremony photos because you want to make an appearance at cocktail hour, then your photographer should respect that and guide you to make that happen so images that are important to you can be properly captured.
Your photographer should understand your priorities—not replace them with theirs.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Make sure your photographer understands your must-have photos and ask how they handle a shot list when time is limited. You hired them for their artistic eye. They should use it to capture your wedding, not just their favorite shots.
🎧 THE DJ
Not every DJ is an emcee. Not every DJ understands how to read a room. Not every DJ with a great playlist knows how to actually run a wedding. We've seen "green" DJs who have no idea how to properly emcee, transition between events, communicate with vendors or keep the energy moving while reading the room. These are all basic, standard skills you should want from your DJ of choice.
Your DJ isn't just pushing buttons. They're helping manage the flow of your reception, keep the energy hype and literally be the voice and vibe of the night.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Ask to see or hear your DJ actually emcee an event. Ask how they handle introductions, transitions, timeline changes and unexpected situations. Ask if they play off of a playlist or do they actually mix music. Do they know how to read a room? Do they have sample reels you can watch or an upcoming event you can attend to hear their work.
You want someone who can read the room—not just press play.
🎸 THE BAND
Your band should bring energy to the reception, not more work for everyone around them.
We've seen bands who don't read the timeline. Musicians arrive looking like they're headed to a backyard jam session instead of a formal wedding. We've seen low-energy performances. And, perhaps most annoyingly, we've seen bands absolutely destroy their vendor room and then leave as if a cleaning fairy is going to magically appear.
Spoiler alert: Your wedding planner is not the band's housekeeper.
Professional vendors respect the venue, the couple, the other vendors and the space they're working in.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Ask how the band handles load-in, vendor meals, breaks, timelines, attire and cleanup. And ask to see photos or videos of their live performances—not just polished promotional material. These details matter more than you think.
🚗 END-OF-NIGHT TRANSPORTATION
You've made it through the wedding. You're finally alone. You're exhausted, happy and ready to ride off into the sunset with your new spouse. And then your driver starts talking....
And talking...
And talking...
And then asks for a tip.
Look, we appreciate great transportation service. We really do. But there's a difference between being friendly and inserting yourself into a couple's private end-of-night moment.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Ask about tipping policies upfront so there are no awkward surprises at the end of the night. And make sure you understand exactly how much time you've booked and what happens if the timeline runs late.
📋 PLANNERS...AND YES…EVEN PLANNERS. NO ONE IS SAFE!
We're going to say this because we believe in transparency: Hiring a wedding planner doesn't automatically mean you've hired a good wedding planner.
There are planners who limit communication to a specific number of calls, emails or texts. There are planners with confusing pricing. There are planners who are painfully slow to respond. There are planners who make you feel like you're begging for an answer. And there are planners who simply don't have enough experience yet to understand how to properly mitigate problems when things go sideways.
Here's the thing, everyone has to start somewhere. We were all new once. But your expectations need to match the planner's experience level. If you're planning a complicated wedding with multiple vendors, a large guest count, a tight timeline and a lot of moving pieces, you probably don't want your wedding to be someone's first day on the job.
💡 PLANNER TIP:
Ask about experience, communication, emergency management and what happens when a vendor doesn't perform.
Ask how often you'll hear from them.
Ask exactly what their pricing includes and what communication is covered.
And most importantly, ask yourself: “Do I feel like this person is going to make my life easier—or am I going to have to manage them, too?”, because that's the whole point...you shouldn't have to.
So…what do we (planners) actually do?
This is the part couples don't always see.
A good planner isn't just creating timelines and telling everyone where to stand.
We're watching. We're asking questions. We're catching things. We're reading contracts. We're noticing when something doesn't look right. We're reminding vendors about details they forgot. We’re taking the blame when there’s misplaced frustration from a vendor, a family member or a guest. We're figuring out solutions before you even know there's a problem. And sometimes, we're quietly fixing something behind the scenes so you never have to know it happened.
That's the magic. Not that nothing goes wrong. It's that you don't have to know when it does.
If you're planning your wedding without a planner, that's completely okay. Just know that you're taking on the job of vetting not only what vendors promise—but how they actually perform. Look beyond the pretty Instagram feed.
Look beyond the five-star reviews. Look beyond the lowest price. Ask questions. Read the contract. Check references. Pay attention to communication. And watch how each vendor talks about working with other vendors.
⭐️ KEY TAKE-AWAY:
When vetting your vendors, don't rely exclusively on polished websites, pretty Instagram feeds, and published five-star reviews. And if you're looking for a more unfiltered perspective, check Reddit for real conversations and experiences with vendors from real people. One or two bad reviews isn't necessarily a deal breaker, no business is perfect, but if you start seeing the same complaint or negative theme repeatedly, pay attention.
Remember, you are absolutely allowed to ask questions throughout the process. Great vendors will actually encourage transparency and education. Because the best wedding vendors aren't just talented at what they do, they're professional, communicative, collaborative and invested in making your wedding successful, and those are the things you don't always see on Instagram or Pinterest.
Know that when you Plan It With Me, wel protect you along the way by steering you toward the good and away from the bad, and educating you to the "why". After all, no one intentionally wants to hire a frustrating vendor.
Looking for Your Dream Planning Team to Sheild You From the Chaos?
At Plan It With Me, we believe wedding planning should feel joyful, organized, and supported from day one.
If you’re looking for an experience planning team, that knows how to create a practical and realistic plan for your dream day, then you need to Plan It With Me. Click the button below to schedule your FREE consultation, so you can start planning and rest easy at night!
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